Mild Rave

So many street lamps last night… and I walked past each of them while the rain poured. Each lamp had a story to tell. They only speak when it’s raining and only to those people who can hear them. I heard them. I always hear them. They said they lighted the path for beings like us. They told me we weren’t lost… that we shouldn’t label ourselves as lost. I looked directly at the light with my arms stretched out and asked what we were then. It said that we are the ember souls of this world and that without us the world would be in mundanity. We are few but there is always one in every lineage. Most people notice us because we always create that ripple in the water. The people that get to feel that energy form part of our circumference. And we each have our own. It doesn’t mean we are the center for ripples only appear when there is disturbance. We are there like everyone else. We are actually the stronger souls because of what we are. We just refuse to acknowledge it because we have been too comfortable with our weaknesses that it would be like taking our blankets off. Sometimes we are hard to understand but people still listen. We make mistakes and it takes us longer than most people to accept it but when we do we have accepted it in its entirety. It is during those times that we may lose track and let some good things, people, and opportunities pass us by unnoticed. Ember souls seldom get close enough for their ripples to collide. When they do they are unprepared. They don’t know how to handle it. It scares them because their ripples are disturbed. They feel their energies merging and it is so strong that they get apprehensive. In the instances that this has happened the embers walk away. They feel pain but they still do. And because they are stronger than they think they are… they succeed. This is what saddens the street lamps. Because when embers give off energy they do it unconsciously. But when they walk away they do it knowingly. And embers do not act that way when it comes to ripples. That is when they allow their anxieties to overpower them… and that is where they are mistaken. I just stood in silence… I’m too drenched from the rain. The street lamp tells me to go home and rest.

John and Mitchy we’re getting kind of itchy just leaving all the worries behind…

I can’t write but you know I will because I am the unusual kind.

Twelve hours of intoxication… you think I’d sleep on the street…

I won’t because my mind is still awake and going on a trip.

Try me and let’s change what we see…

I ended up hitting a tree.

My friend tells me he doesn’t know me anymore…

This time I’ll wait though before he opens the door.

Drinking under the street lamp to the music that we understand…

There’s no room for anyone else unless you are part of the band.

Women always glance and look a second time.

We never do… they have to fall in line.

Do we even take notice and do we even care…

Join me and just smile because I never stare.

I came from down south and it felt really safe…

What surrounded me was clear, why am I afraid?

It could be the simplicity of it all; Is it what I’m looking for…

But I slipped because I was dancing, so I fell on the floor.

Should I stop?  Oh I won’t because that is the cowardly way out…

I just take the wheel and drive… I am safe, I will erase all your doubts.

Too far out in the open sea,

No looking back anymore.

A bottle fell from the sky.

A mermaid just passed by.

Come here and hold me,

It is delightful.  I am too high.

This dark shadow is always behind me.

Go away for good, I still have parties.

Multicolored leaves, they take me away.

Walk with me, it is okay.

We won’t die… not yet.

I still see a full bottle ahead.

Now sing that song.

I want to weep and smile.

Let the normal people glance.

They never took the chance.

This road is very hot.

Too fast and no seatbelt.

With a cliff up ahead.

I’m not one to stop.

Your presence is surreal.

Don’t worry I am real.

There is nothing that surrounds us now,

Only what we need to feel.

Yeah, I know… it’s been quite awhile since you have read something crazy from me.  I just got tired of posting… but I never stopped writing.  Most have been left in places where the right people will find them… I hope it stays with them or it gets passed on.

The four new entries below are all that I have kept.  It does not define where I am right now or it may have had… It does not matter.  What I post is for you to subjectively take in… as has always been the case.  I write as myself and at the same time I do not.  What is important to me is that you read it with yourself in mind.  I suggest intoxication though… or it may just be an excuse… again, it is all up to you.

It is dusk and the sky will be blood shot soon… you wont see it from where we’re standing… but travel a little and it will beam on you… an eerie glow of sadness and expectance depending on where you stand.  Everyone has their own place… everyone has their own view of the horizon… and no two people occupy the same place.

My hands touch the black and white keys… sadness plays.  It is serene… comforting and disturbing.  I see white all around me.  Go on, don’t stop dancing.  The music is slow… it seems like your floating… your dress is captivating.  There is no one around.  It is only us.  We like it this way sometimes… but this time we need it this way.  Hold my hand and stay close.  We are still drunk.  You are warm.  Hold me… look at me… give me that deceptive kiss of the night… as the music is about to end… do not cry…  I am not afraid… do not close your eyes… perfect… now you can kill me…

Another day ends.  How are you feeling my friend?  Let’s take a walk… it seems you need some company.  You have that dazed look in your eyes again.  Why? Does it hurt still? Do the memories still stab from time to time?  I thought your mornings are brighter now.  You want to fall off the face of the Earth?  I can join you, its okay I don’t want to stay anyway.  You don’t need to explain for I understand… maybe better than you do.  Watch out, there’s a car.  See that place… it’s made for people like us.  The sunset goes down beside it just right.  Let’s stop for awhile though and just watch the road behind us.  Do you see anything familiar?  I don’t.  It looks so cold and dark back there.  There’s no one there who understands.  Come on, let’s move… I’m tired… I want to rest… I won’t ever leave… you are all I need.

You’ll find what you’re looking for… but you have to move from place to place.  A drink in hand, a dream in your heart, open all the doors, it may be the right place. 

The road is your friend.  It takes you by the hand… read the signs, feel free to choose.  Don’t be afraid, the world plays with the coward.  Keep your coat clean… walk mysteriously. 

People will always feed you but you will always leave because it is not right.  This journey has one end and you will not forget that.  Dance and smile, each day brings you closer to your home.  You feel it… you just hit the road again.

Sometimes we have to choose what we do not want… and leave something we know could have been right.  We stay with what we know and what we are familiar with.  Are we that afraid to take a chance?  Or is it the hope of a better day?  A million moments of staring at nothing and you still won’t get any answer.  What you want to know cannot be summoned.  It will just flash before you at the most unexpected time… and do you know why?  Because unexpected situations, those that surprise us… only have unexpected answers.  We just hope that when we do hear the answer. . .  it is not too late.